Monday, July 16, 2007

Bottle Rocket to the Gut

The previous blog reminded of a time in high school that I chose a poor method of "conflict" resolution. It was around the 4th of July and I had just gotten a stack of bottle rockets that I was eager to launch. I decided to light them and throw them at an angle that would actually cause them to "missile" towards the ground. And of course every missile needs a target, right? I saw a group people playing basketball and I figured that they would make a nice broad shooting range...bad idea. I launched a bottle rocket and it zoomed by the star basketball player's girlfriend. It came inches from nailing her. Her boyfriend quickly set his gaze off of the basketball and onto me. He began to approach me and I knew that we were about to have a "collision." Her boyfriend was actually a good friend of mine but now he was out for vengeance. So as he walked up to me I quickly came up with a great solution to prove to him that I was deeply sorry for almost taking off his girlfriend's head. He seemed interested so I held a bottle rocket in my hand and aimed directly at my gut. I then handed him the lighter and gave him the orders to "light me up." He lit the fuse and I began to freak out and flexed my abbs as tight as possible. I was hoping that somehow the 12 inch distance of flight time from my hand to my gut wouldn't hurt "too" bad and that all my libs would still remain attached after it exploded. 4 seconds later it launched and it thrusted itself into my gut... but then it fell to the ground and it never exploded, it was a dud!!!! Praise the Lord for duds- well at least that one. Sure it gave me a nice slug to the gut, but I was just glad that I didn't have my guts laying all over the ground. I shook hands with the baller and a truce was made. That day I figured that the only way to make peace was to avenge myself. But now as I look back on that day I can't help but think that there had to be a better way.